Setback: Okay, what happened?

Part 1: Okay, what the heck happened to me?

Covid was waning and life was beginning to return to normal.  I had been vaccinated--twice, and never did catch the virus.

I had broken a tooth which necessitated a trip to my out-of-town dentist on March 31, 2022.  So I transfer to my manual wheelchair and roll up to our van.  I open the door, grab the hand-hold on the frame, haul my leg in first followed by my bottom.  I close the door; wife folds up the chair and places it in back, and we're off.

My dentist of some 30 years is accommodating.  I roll up to her bench and step over to it so that the repairs can commence.  It's the reverse going home.  Simple, no?

Less than a week later on the night of April 6th, 2022, I suddenly get such severe spasms that I think the devil is trying to dis-articulate my femur from my hip socket.  I scream not only from each unexpected explosive action that tries to take my right leg further than what is anatomically possible, but also the resulting pain.

Again, and again, and again - every 15 to 20 seconds or so the excruciating contraction repeats.  A contraction so strong that I cannot push my right knee down with both hands and all my might to straighten my leg until the spasm releases.

My wife hears my cries from another room. - I swear at God, the devil or to any other entity who might listen--that I can blame--that I can plead for sympathy, for relief.  Nothing...

This goes on until dawn.  I'm exhausted.  I get up and have coffee for what else can I do?  Dawn seems to have brought some relief.

April 7, 2022:  The nuclear spasms return in earnest the following night.  Explode, scream, release, swear, then repeat til dawn.

You've heard of suicide by cop, have you not?  I was trying suicide by God. I swore and insulted God in the most vile manner--even inventing new words for I had used up my most filthy vocabulary -words which would make a long-shore-man blush, and still found them insufficient to get my anger, my desperation, my helplessness, my hopelessness across.  Perhaps in his anger he would take me, but to where?  I was already in hell.  How much worse could it get?  Would four flaming horsemen of the acropolis apocalypse ride their steeds up my ass or would I just have to clean Hitler's latrine for eternity.  End it, please!!!

April 8, 2022: There was no repeat of the previous two nights.  Oh, I still get spasms nightly but they are gentler--like trying to kick the ceiling light fixture from where it had been installed.  Those destroy me as well, but they take longer - like trying to blow your brains out using a hair-dryer.

The result was that my right leg was absolutely sprained.  I could no longer raise it of the ground.  While my left leg raised straight in front of me could stay rigid and taut, the right leg was sore, sprained and would bounce when I attempted to raise it.

I could not put weight on that leg to transfer to my bed, or to the toilet or to any other surface.  It would collapse beneath me.  I had to slide across, drag myself over or devise some other means to change surfaces.

My doctor offered sympathy but no possible explanation for my episode.  He told me to go home and rest.  Go home and rest!! Well doctor, that's what I had been doing all winter long.  Winter lethargy doesn't materialize in one week--between March 31 and April 6.  Old age too does not drop out of the sky overnight.  My doctor sent me for an ultrasound to humour me.  It showed no abnormalities as I suspected.  He was off the hook.

Well, the leg did improve to some degree but I could no longer raise it high enough to step into our van.  I would lift my leg up and immediately fall back into my wheelchair.  Had more damage been done than I (and the good doctor) realized?  Had I just lost my confidence?  What?

More to follow in the next post.