Prisoner of Life

You are a combatant captured by the enemy during a war.  Your captors believe you possess valuable information they wish to extract.  What does your foreseeable future hold?

 Solitary Confinement:

Him: You are thrown into a cell; solitary confinement.  No contact with the outside world.

Me: As of April 2022, I can no longer step into our car.  I now rely on the unreliable public disability transport if I wish to leave my house.  I have done so 14 times in the last 19 months--all for medical appointments.  My world is what I can see from my windows.

Sensory Deprivation:

Him: You are deprived of everything but concrete walls and steel bars.  Your memories are your only source of entertainment.  Perhaps a Red Cross worker might be allowed to see you for an instance.

Me: I'm not so bad off, but I don't watch television; I don't play video games or board or card games.  While I have books and music, one cannot read or listen endlessly.  Friends have dies, moved or have problems of their own.  Contact is rare.

Physical Assaults:

Him: You are removed from your cell and beaten so bad it leaves you black and blue, swollen with joint and muscles sprained.  Perhaps they might pull out your fingernails or drill holes into your teeth in order to play with your nerves.  Fun and games...

Me: In April 2022, I experienced spasms so severe that I felt each contraction was attempting to tear my leg from my hip.  Spasms so explosive that I screamed on each "detonation".  The leg was so sprained that I could place no weight upon it.  Lesser spasms now continue nightly.  I have sciatic hip/nerve pain which I've described to the doctor as "the devil hammering a hot nail into my hip with each heartbeat".  I've prayed for my heart to stop.  Add to that the torn tendons I have in each shoulder for which the Osteopathic doctor said nothing [at my age] could be done to repair the damage.  Broke a tooth while confined.  Cannot get to my dentist and even if I could, could I now get onto the examination bench?

Sleep Deprivation:

Him: You are intentionally kept awake by your captors.  They shake you awake every time your eyes close.  They may blast loud music at you day and night; they may flood your cell with blinding light.  Your mind plays games with you when you haven't slept properly for long periods.

Me: Nightly spasms: Every night one leg or the other will begin to repeatedly bounce.  It starts with an indescribable creepy feeling for which there is no comparison in non-paraplegic life; you want to jump out of your own skin, but of course you can't jump.  You have no escape.  Every 15 to 20 seconds, the spasms lift one leg from the bed, then slam it back down.  Over, and over, and over... They can last for an hour or two but have lasted for 8 continuous hours on one occasion.  You cannot sleep with the devil lifting and slamming you leg upon the bed for hours at a time.

Electrical Shocks:

Him: You're taken from your cell, restrained and electrodes placed upon your private parts or elsewhere.  Jolts of electricity are sent through your body.

Me: Without notice an "electrical shock" hits some point from the groin downwards.  They certainly feel just like electrical shocks.  There are two manifestations: Pinpoint shocks just as if someone jabbed you with a straight needle; wave shocks similar to what you would feel if you touched a live 120V wire.  Pinpoints can occur anywhere from the groin downward.  Wave shocks are usually in the ball or the arch of the foot.  The repeat but usually fade out after a minute.

Unrelenting Discomfort:

Him: In your unheated cell, you suffer endlessly with the unrelenting cold that permeates you bones.

Me: I have unrelenting burning from my knees downward--neurogenic pain on which drugs have little or no effect.  Cold or heat, its permanence cannot be ignored.  Your mind constantly reminds you of the discomfort from which you cannot escape.

Me: Discomfort in my incapacity to use muscles as an ambulatory person would.  Muscles deteriorate, tendons shorten, contractures between layers of tissues occur.  Your body fights you.

Granted, my situation may not compare directly to that of the tortured soldier, but I believe there are significant parallels. 

I've come to the realization that there is not much else that can be done about my situation, fewer still in the medical profession who would care to try.

End for the captive soldier's situation might come about in two ways: He may be liberated from his torturers by an advancing army or an armistice between the combatants; or his captors may just kill him outright.  Either way your torment ends [except perhaps for PTSD, etc.].

For myself, I've given up hope on any sort of medical resolution.  There's nothing on the medical horizon that would liberate me from this pain and anguish.  My only other option would be some sort of miraculous biblical intervention but I'm not counting on it.

Perhaps Artificial Intelligence (AI), still in its nascent