They May Listen, But Do They Hear?

 Listening and hearing are different!

Are you listening to the words spill from my mouth while dreaming about this upcoming weekend?  Did you understand?  Did my words have any impact?  Do you sense my desperation?  Will you follow up with pertinent questions or offer valid suggestions?  Did the impact of my words move you towards finding a resolution to my dilemma?

In the previous post I wrote about my two new doctors that I have yet to meet and their "Miss-Two-Hats" clinical assistant go between.  A pleasant person to be sure, but my words, my frustration, my desperation, simply had no impact.

I reiterated my various pains:

• Neuogenic nerve pain - burning from the knees to the toes
• Sciatic hip pain - hurts on a good day; on a bad day if feels as if the devil is hammering a hot nail into my hip with every heartbeat.  I curse my heart for beating.
• Torn tendons in both shoulders; at my age, told to learn to live with the pain.
• Painful contractures in several fingers of both hands plus the beginnings of arthritis in my thumb.  Met with a plastic surgeon last spring but still unresolved.  Does the doctor no longer relay results? Is it up to the patient to chase the doctor?
• Painful leg spasms that last for hours, preventing sleep 
• Mental anguish of recently being housebound (unresolved)
  

I tried to relay my desperation; and no, I don't want narcotics.  I'm looking for some degree of relief.  I'm looking for a path forward.

I explained "Miss Two Hats" that I have no children and I have no relatives, but that I have significant pain and anxiety.  I told her that my worst fear is that I live in this state for as long as my parents lived--my mom to her mid-eighties, my dad to ninety-three.  As of April of 2022, I've become house-bound--dependent on public disability transport as I no longer able to get into our family vehicle; that issue also left unresolved by my "revolving door" of doctors in the medical community.  Life sucks!!

I followed that revelation by telling her that I've lost all faith in the Canadian medical system.

You'd think that either one of those verbal "bomb-shells" would elicit some words of understanding, perhaps sympathy (though I'm not looking for sympathy).  You'd think she might defend the medical system in which she is a participant in some capacity.  Yet it appears that my frustration, my desperation made no impact. 

She politely listened but did not hear--immediately concluding our phone conversation by saying she will follow-up (CBD oil efficacy) in the near future.  Goodbye.

I guess I had hoped in vain for suggestions as to how to proceed, how to resolve, lessen or at least manage the discomfort that envelopes my life.

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